Dragged into New Seasons

I love the turn of a season. The crisp fall leaves under my shoes are a catalyst for anticipation in my life, my ears perk up at the sound of new opportunities as the daily, weekly, monthly schedules are shaped. I can’t help it. I love the fall. And the clearance school supplies don’t hurt either (I also love everything stationary). I just love a new season…until I don’t.

Psalm 68 took me by surprise the other day.

Verses 3 and 4 were trotting along so nicely,

"But let the godly rejoice. Let them be glad in God’s presence. Let them be filled with joy.”

Yes, God, i want to be filled with joy.

“Sing praises to God and to his name! Sing loud praises to him who rides the clouds. His name is the Lord - rejoice in His presence!”

Yes, God, You are powerful and above all. I rejoice in Your beautiful presence.

“Father to the fatherless, defender of the widows - this is God, whose dwelling is holy”

Yes, God, you gather each one in. You are the Father to the fatherless. What a loving God you are. Father to the fatherless…WAIT! That’s me!

Before July 31, this verse, this adjective did not describe me. I was well and lovingly fathered. But on July 31, my earthly father died and now I am among the fatherless. A new season indeed.

But God offers Himself. He opens the door to a new attribute, a new way of knowing Him. He offers to be my Father in the middle of my fatherlessness. What a gift. What a beautiful invitation. What a generous God who opens Himself up to me in a new way, to take on this Father role, one I have not needed as deeply until now.

But I don’t want it. I see the open door, I hear His invitation, “Father to the fatherless” and I am not ready to step through this door quite yet. I don’t want this new season. I don’t want this new label, “fatherless”. I don’t want to be in this place at all.

New seasons always sound so cheerful and positive. But sometimes new seasons are winter, sometimes they are seasons we never asked for, hoped for or ever imagined would happen. But here I am. Here you are. Here we are. And we are in a new season.

Questions to ask yourself:

What does my new season look like? How am I discovering a new facet of God’s character because of this new season?

Am I fighting God and the new role He wants to play, the way He wants to provide for me? Am I refusing to accept this revelation of a new aspect of God’s character as a gift? Is this new revelation reminding me of all that has been lost? Yes. Yes to all of these questions right now. But not forever.

God is patient with me and I am grateful. I will continue to ask Him more about this “Father to the fatherless” business. I have no doubt that one day I will declare this as the gift it is. God is good and He is present with me in this new season, as He is with you.

A Prayer for the Unwanted New Season

Father God,

I know You are here with me. I know that You do not leave me and Your goodness endures. I know.

But there is so much of You I do not know. Holy Spirit, lead me into truth gently. Open my eyes to see the Father’s provision in the midst of all this new.

Jesus, help my ears to hear Your voice, leading me to the heart of the Father. May I find rest with You hidden beneath the wings of the Father God who loves us.

Amen.