Creating Space//Part 2: In the Middle of Real Life
I sit down in the big mint and cream chair in the corner of our living room, curling my legs up beneath me. My journal and Bible sit beside me. I breathe. Bedtime has been accomplished. I did it. I will finally have a moment to read, to listen, to talk to God. The kids are in bed (still awake but physically in their beds, so it’s a win) and I am ready to embark on the quiet time that has eluded me ALL DAY.
I’ve been hungering to have space and time for a conversation with God, to hear His voice through prayer, through His Word. Every time I sat down today to make a little space, my attempts were foiled. I was beginning to feel like focused time with God was an illusion. But here I am now, cozy and ready to dig in, sitting in my favorite chair with even a bit of mental energy left at the end of this day. It’s perfect.
“Mom,”
“Mom!”
“Mom? Will you sleep with me?”
My four year old stands at the top of the stairs, his earnest eyes pleading.
“Ok,” I sigh, “I’m coming.”
I pull myself out of my comfy chair and up the stairs. I lay down beside him thinking “why is finding space to remember and encounter God so hard?” Resentment begin to well up. All I want is a quiet moment. I have some decisions in front of me and all I want is a quiet moment to hear God’s voice, to read His Word, to write down a few things, to gain a little clarity. Why is this so hard?
In that moment, laying beside my child who was relaxing into sleep, I let myself relax too. When my little one’s breathing became slow and even, I chose to stay beside him a little longer. All the things I had planned to write in my journal, I laid them out before God, like the Lego laying on the floor beneath me. And then I listened. I waited on God. I rested. In a moment, the realization, “Your presence is here.”
You are here. In the middle of my real life. You’re not waiting for the perfect moment of silence and steeped tea to make your entrance.
You are here. You are always here.
Standing at the sink, washing dishes. You are here.
Folding endless laundry. You are here.
Driving to school. You are here.
Driving to work. You are here.
Driving to the grocery store. You are here.
Driving. Driving. Driving. You are here.
Cleaning the bathrooms. Cleaning the floors. Washing windows. You are here.
Waiting in line, in the doctor’s office, at the post office. You are here.
You are here and I can be here with you too.
There’s a TED Talk by Manoush Zomorodi that explores what happens to our brains when we get bored. New neural connections are made, problems are solved. Our brains move into a default mode that essentially allows us to have space to process deeper things. When I heard this, I was challenged. If this is how God made our bodies, then boredom could be a gift God has given us. The TED Talk doesn’t apply this concept to spiritual matters but I saw the connection immediately. If this is how God made our brains, then boredom might be the best thing for my spiritual life with God.
After watching this, I tried an experiment. What if I didn’t watch Netflix while I folded laundry? What if I didn’t listen to music when I drove? What if I didn’t put on a podcast when I was washing dishes? What would happen in the boredom?
It turns out a lot can happen. I have found this beautiful invitation hidden in the folds of my piles of laundry. God has met me in my boredom, reminding me of His presence in the middle of these mundane tasks.
A person comes to mind and I pray for them, I wonder, “Is there another way you want me to show care for them, God?”.
A verse surfaces and I meditate on it., drawn into a deeper understanding of what it means to follow Jesus.
That decision weighing on me has space to come into the light and be seen for what it is. God is changing me in the boredom.
Creating space to encounter God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit has looked like leaning into the boring things and not trying to fill all the space that’s already there in the middle of my real life.
Creating space to remember and encounter God has looked like realizing there is no perfect moment, that He is always present and always showing up in this relationship with me.